The high cost of porn addiction

I was exposed to pornography for the first time at the age of 10. The neighbor kid who was 8 got a picture out of a magazine that his older brother had. We both knew it was wrong for us to have possession of this picture but somehow, we felt it was natural for boys to want to see naked pictures. My parent caught us with it and took it away. The addiction hooked me right at that moment and I looked everywhere in the entire house for that very picture. It was nowhere to be found. I didn’t know what a junkie was at the time, but that was exactly how I was acting. From that moment on it has been a long and treacherous journey with an addiction to porn. The exposure to magazines got worse and worse over the next seven years, as more and more neighbor friends had magazines that they had gotten from their 18-year-old brothers that weren’t keeping them hidden. Parents throughout the neighborhood made attempts to confiscate the magazines from time to time, but I don’t think even they realized the true danger of young kids getting their hands on this junk.

By the time I was 18 I was hooked like a hankering crack addict and now it was my right of passage to buy my own product. My magazine stash was now as large as the 18 yr. old kids in the neighborhood had been when I was young. Now others around me would be taking my stash and proliferating it around the neighborhood. My actions were now dangerously affecting others. I didn’t know the damage at the time and looking back I was so hooked that the only one I cared about was myself and my need to feed my addiction. Video rentals became an obsession and here is where the real danger began. That was the step that created dangerous situations for me. I started reaching out to Escorts and spending money that I could have been more responsible with and planned my future with instead of throwing it away to get that extra high from in person sex. I was trying to create my own porn scene sometimes even doing degrading and risky acts just trying to reach that next level of high. My real relationships were failing because of it. I was sneaking around constantly to seek that high. One time I even thought I was meeting up with someone for companionship and sex and had 5 guys jump me with baseball bats. Guys I’m telling you it’s not worth it get yourself some help. I’m sure it is also a battle for women as well who suffer from porn and sex addiction. Entertainer Billie Eillish said it ruined her life and I can attest to it that it can. It becomes a struggle to always achieve that bigger high. Porn is the biggest thing that does real damage to your brain. Porn masturbation orgasm or PMO can really destroy the dopamine centers of the brain, or the reward center and these videos especially would overload those centers and cause some really wicked things to happen to the mind and body. Lethargy was one of the major things but one of the worst was social anxiety and how one would view women. Even normal sex with a girlfriend never seemed to measure up and over the years porn induced erectile dysfunction would start to become a big issue. The body doesn’t know the difference between porn and the real thing, but porn would overload the dopamine centers of the brain to the point that when regular sex doesn’t have as much of an impact on the dopamine centers, you would start to have some major performance issues.

That craving that you start to have to get that incredible high totally rewires your brain in the most negative way. What makes this an incredibly difficult type of addiction is that everyone loves sex. How do you stop sex when it is something everyone wants to have in some form or another? One is to give yourself a break from sex and masturbation but most importantly porn. Quit porn for good. Nothing about it is good. Give your brain a chance to rewire. I don’t know how long that time frame is for anyone. Try 90 days. Then start to introduce masturbation but only with touch. No visualizations and definitely no porn or pictures of any sort. Not even models on Instagram. The last thing is going to be tough. We especially as guys are inundated with visual stimulation on a daily basis even when we least expect it.

It took me till age 50 to finally realize that porn was a huge problem for me and for a lot of people. The amazing part of this realization is last year I started meditating and I believe from doing this practice it started to lead me to all the unhealthy things I’ve been doing all these years that I never thought twice about. It really is about starting small. You might be really amazed at what all you might uncover in your life that has really been dragging you down.

Just don’t quit trying and you will find a better version of yourself one day after the next. It will get easier if you stick to your plan. I have faith in you.

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